we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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