i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
