I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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