beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
