My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Found the puke drawer
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
