i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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