I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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