the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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