i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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