Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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