My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
