Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
