Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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