Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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