omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
