why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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