I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
