you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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