Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
