That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My feet surprised me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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