my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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