one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
