You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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