We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
