That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
