we should wear snuggies to the strip club
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
