No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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