Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
