The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
