apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
pray to the hookup gods
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
