Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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