I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
