girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
