worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
