so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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