Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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