I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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