The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
