I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
