I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize