he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
