Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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