in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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