i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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