talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
