Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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