New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
