so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
