You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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