is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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