Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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