you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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