she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So vagazzling was a success
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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