I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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