Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We need to rekindle our bromance
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
