Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
