More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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