Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
