So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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