why didn't you poke me back
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well I just put wine in my tea
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
