Need sex. Gaining weight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
